When Life Asks Us to Pause: A Personal Reflection on Resilience
This week has been a reminder that resilience is not always about pushing through. Sometimes it is about noticing when your mind and body are asking you to slow down, soften your expectations, and return to the basics with compassion.
I have had one of those weeks.
Without sharing every detail, I have been moving through an unexpectedly emotional period following a sequence of events, bringing a little fun mix of grief, change, uncertainty and a very human sense of being unsettled. It has reminded me how quickly emotional experiences can ripple through the body, especially when we are used to carrying on, staying productive, or believing we should be “fine”.
The impact was not only emotional. My body spoke too.
Living with naturally low blood pressure means that stress, disrupted sleep, dehydration or not eating enough can catch up with me quickly. This week, I was reminded that the nervous system does not separate what happens emotionally from what happens physically. When we are overwhelmed, our system may shift into survival mode. We may feel foggy, exhausted, disconnected, shaky, unable to settle, or simply unlike ourselves.
That is not weakness. It is information.
The body keeps the score, gently.
In wellbeing spaces, we sometimes hear resilience spoken about as though it means becoming unshakeable: staying positive, bouncing back instantly, or carrying on regardless.
But I do not think that is the most honest version of resilience. Nor do I think as wellbeing practitioners we perfect it all and never experience any of these kind of periods. We re human, too.
Real resilience can look like:
Letting yourself acknowledge that something has hurt.
Eating something simple when your appetite has disappeared.
Drinking water before another coffee.
Cancelling what is not essential.
Asking for support rather than trying to hold everything alone.
Resting before your body forces you to.
Choosing a few grounding breaths rather than trying to “fix” everything at once.
Beginning again, kindly, from wherever you are.
Resilience is not the absence of struggle. It is the capacity to meet life’s difficult moments with enough care, support and awareness that we can gradually find our way back to ourselves.
This does not mean bypassing sadness or trying to breathe our way out of pain. It means creating a little more space around what we are feeling, so that it does not have to take over every part of us.
A gentle return to basics
When life feels emotionally intense, I find it helpful to come back to the most fundamental forms of regulation. Not as a rigid checklist, but as an invitation.
For me, that has looked like simple nourishment, warm drinks, slow walks, fresh air, earlier nights where possible, gentle movement and allowing tears or feelings to arise without immediately judging them.
It has also meant remembering the tools I teach.
A longer exhale.
A hand on the heart or belly.
Feeling both feet on the floor.
Looking around the room and naming a few things I can see.
Moving slowly rather than rushing.
Giving myself permission not to have all the answers yet.
These practices do not erase what has happened. But they can help signal to the nervous system that, in this moment, there is enough safety to soften a little.
And often, a little is enough.
Why seasonal transitions can feel tender
Autumn has a way of drawing us inward.
As the light changes, the evenings close in and nature begins its own process of release, many of us feel an invitation to take stock. We may notice what feels complete, what feels heavy, what we have been carrying for too long, and what we would like to make space for next.
That can be beautiful, but it can also bring emotion closer to the surface.
This season is not necessarily asking us to become a new person overnight. It may simply be asking us to pause long enough to hear ourselves again.
To release what no longer belongs in this next chapter.
To reconnect with what steadies us.
To rise with a little more clarity, energy and self-trust.
An invitation to reset together
This is part of the intention behind my upcoming Autumn Reset: Release, Reconnect, Rise workshop at Bisley Yurt.
Taking place on Saturday 17 October, from 10am–1pm, this three-hour seasonal nervous-system reset is a gentle space to pause, soften stress and reconnect with yourself in the beautiful, grounding setting of Bisley Yurt at Miles Green Farm in Surrey. A cosy and gentle morning with tea, coffee and vegan treats available throughout the session.
It is not about arriving perfectly calm, healed or “on top of everything”. It is for anyone who feels they need a moment to breathe, reflect, move, release some of the noise and remember their inner steadiness.
Whether you are carrying a lot, moving through a change, feeling emotionally tired, or simply craving some quiet time to reconnect with yourself, you are welcome, just as you are.
There is something powerful about practising in community: being reminded that we are not alone in our tenderness, our transitions or our need for rest.
A final reminder
If this week has reminded me of anything, it is that we are not machines. We cannot always think our way through what the body is trying to communicate.
Sometimes the strongest thing we can do is stop. Eat. Rest. Breathe. Feel. Let ourselves be held. Begin again.
If you are in a tender season too, I hope you can meet yourself with gentleness. You do not need to rush your healing, force your next step or prove your resilience through exhaustion.
You are allowed to pause.
And from that pause, something new can begin.
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