Would You Go to a Spa Day on Your Own?

I am sitting at a table on my own, having lunch while at a resort for a spa day treat. The day is lovely and the premises wonderful. The perfect little nest for a bit of R&R.

I am on my own. This is not the first time, or the first activity/day out/... I do on my own. I am pretty comfortable with it and I ve done things on my own a lot throughout the years. Sometimes by choice, sometimes by circumstances. Often, I think, I enjoy it. The introvert in me takes comfort in doing things solo. Sometimes, to the detriment of my mental health. I'll dig into that a bit later.

As im sitting here in a room full of tables of 2+ people, I do suddenly wonder: does one naturally enjoy going somewhere/doing something for the day or more just on their own or do we learn to like it? Well that is a question my mind is happy to dive into!

Here are my thoughts...To me, I would say... It depends!

It likely depends on a mix of personality, life experiences, and learned behaviours...some things coming to mind:

1. Natural Preferences

Introversion vs. Extroversion:

Some people are naturally more introverted and may genuinely enjoy spending time alone or doing things solo. Others are more extroverted and might find more enjoyment in social outings. Some of us can be a lot of one and yet play a lot in the other side, requiring us to counterbalance that so that we can keep ourselves in a happy & healthy state.

Curiosity and Independence:

Some individuals are naturally curious or independent, which can make solo outings feel exciting and fulfilling.

2. Learnt Enjoyment

Positive Experiences:

If someone has had positive experiences going out alone (e.g., discovering new places, meeting interesting people, feeling a sense of freedom), they may learn to enjoy it more over time.

Trauma or Circumstances:

Sometimes, people develop a preference for solitude due to difficult experiences—such as social anxiety, trauma, or negative social interactions. In these cases, solitude can feel safer or more comfortable, but it’s not always a “natural” preference.

Adaptation:

Life circumstances (e.g., moving to a new city, not having close friends nearby) can lead someone to become more comfortable—or even enjoy—doing things alone, even if it wasn’t their first choice.

3. Cultural and Social Influences

Social Norms:

In some cultures, spending time alone is less common or even stigmatised, which can influence whether someone feels comfortable or enjoys solo outings.

Media and Role Models:

Seeing others enjoy solo travel or activities in the media can inspire people to try it themselves and develop a taste for it.

Conclusions?

I think people can both naturally enjoy going out alone and learn to like it through experience or circumstance. While trauma or difficult situations can lead to a preference for solitude, It looks to me that positive experiences and personal growth could lead to enjoying solo time too. And so, both innate and learned factors play a role.

If you’re curious about your own preferences, I would suggest reflecting on your past experiences and feelings, as well as giving it a go next, go on a solo adventure or activity and take time to reflect on the way you feel before, during, and after.

If you tend to do everything with your partner, parent, sibling, children... maybe you might want to wonder why and if it is a preference of yours.

Exploring spending solo time could help you understand why you enjoy (or don’t enjoy) doing things on your own. No right or wrong, just increased awareness about YOUrself.

Have fun!